Well… Some time ago I posted a poem called Tedium, in which I complained about the tedium of trying to communicate with someone who doesn’t try to communicate. This is my least liked quality in others: I put in an effort, and expect others to do the same. I remember last semester when I was in five papers and trying to communicate with acquaintances.
I’d carve out a few minutes from course reading and try to be engaging and interesting, only to get the same responses every damned time. “OK.”
Invariably I’d end up just not writing back, because what was the point?
So, in others, I can’t stand a lack of interest.
In myself, I don’t like my shyness. In fact, I daresay I’m an introvert. It makes it hard to make friends, as I tend to shy away from virtually anyone. It can be annoying.
No, not really. On Monday, I went walking. I needed to pick up a form from uni.
I strapped on my shoes with four-inch heels and trod the familiar path to the student center. You see where this is going, I’m sure.
Crossed at the lights, reveling in the fact that I’d barely had a misstep. There was a set of eight or nine steps, and I eyed them warily. I’ll have to be careful with them, I thought as I baby-stepped down each one.
Two steps from the bottom, my foot slipped and I went down. I gashed my shin, banged my knees, scraped my foot and the nail polish on two of my nails bit it.
I daresay this is a mark of the times, too: I sat there in a bit of a daze, fixing up my shoe and assessing the shin damage. A woman walked past and did/said nothing to help. I wobbled off to the student center, picked up my form and then burst into tears. The very nice people there apologized for the lack of first-aid kits (a fact about which I railed later at home) and a girl brought me to the health services where I was told the nurses were all busy.
I dragged myself home and sought Mum’s first-aid abilities and parental hugs. Now, as I type, it’s painful to walk. My leg is swathed in bandages and gauze, and my knees and foot have bruises developing. Right now I don’t quite remember what happened, or how I went from falling forwards to sitting on a grubby step.
Still, as my parents said, I could’ve broken my leg or teeth. I might not be able to go swimming for the next month, but that’s OK. I think.
dark circles a stain
on clear white alabaster.
start of tarnishing.
So today is the day of me. Wonderful.
The date is June 1, because that comes shortly before my birthday. By the time it is my birthday the revelry will be over and I can have a peaceful slurky birthday.
Special events: there will be seminars and parties in dedication of appreciating leprechauns and penguins. I have a firm belief that the adorable quotient of penguins is so high that I could let them rule in my government. They’ll represent the animal faction. The leprechauns will represent the mythical creatures faction.
For decorations there will be fish and snowflakes in honour of the penguins, who have been recorded as preferring imagery of their natural habitat for decoration. Leprechauns will prefer silver decorations to contrast with their green clothes. They don’t mind if it’s Slytherin colours. To combine them, we will decorate with silver fish and silver snowflakes.
These decorations will come in a variety of items. There will be car flags and bumper stickers, window decals and stick-on tattoos. They will also be the logo on a LepreGuin range of stationery, sold between May 15 and June 15. They are not limited per se, but the range is only sold between those dates.
Foods will be rich in fish: sushi, fish pie… If you can make it with fish, it’s done. Except for cupcakes, because that’s not a cupcake. Drinks will be beer (for the leprechauns) and Diet Coke, and there will be an ever-changing recipe booklet circulated. It will differ from year to year, and you are more than welcome to use your imagination. Literally no two recipes will be the same.
These are the ramblings of someone who is in pain. Hence, the lack of inclination for true description.
This is my 200th post. It almost didn’t happen.
I’m not, by nature, an inventive person. Sure I can create things from beads and wire (though an infinity symbol is proving tricky) but reversing pollution is a bit too scientific for me.
Instead, I’ll be a promoter of a cosmetics company. Lush Cosmetics does things like bars of shampoo and conditioner. Currently I have a pot of moisturizer, and on the label is a sticker that says NOT VIRGIN. By this, they say that the jar is made from recycled plastic. Likewise, their idea of toothpaste is a little tab thing that you break up and mix with water, sort of, to create the cleaning paste. Said tab comes in a little cardboard box smaller than a matchbox. And yeah, there’s only 40 in the pack, but I find halving them works just as well. Toothpaste, on the other hand, comes in a plastic tube in a cardboard box. Plus, Lush uses natural ingredients.
The idea is that people use these vegan/vegetarian friendly products, not tested on animals, and not have to deal with lots of packaging. Less packaging: look at the ‘Toothy Tabs’ I mentioned above. Even their bubble bath comes in a bar thing, which is much nicer than the bottle I currently have.
Less packaging, less landfills.
I suppose I’m branching out a bit. I used to tell people this was strictly creative writing, but it seems less so nowadays.
I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t much care for holidays. I hate having all this excess time on my hands – a month ago I wrote down that I felt like a lost puppy. One who’s geographically challenged.
I spent time enrolling in classes and getting my loan in order. Then I stared blankly at the abyss of time that loomed before me, pondering the best way to enter.
Since then I’ve been clinging to the rocks and making my way over the various crevasses using my high heels as a grip. Or something. The days are blurring and melting together and I noted the other day that I wasn’t sure what day it was. It might’ve been Thursday, but it could also have been Monday.
I’ve done a lot of reading and a bit of blogging. As of the other night I have a cryptic note reading “OREGON TO NEW YORK.” NaNoWriMo seems like the most logical explanation.
I suppose it’s cabin fever. I don’t have many friends, so I don’t go out much. Monday I’m planning to go to the museum or somewhere.
Also, I’ve learnt a lesson: if you give the university an email address that isn’t affiliated with the university, don’t then include your ID number. The email will go to your university email while you check the other one and wonder where the notice is. This is the notice that tells you when the form you need is ready to be picked up, but you get the email on a Saturday when the place is closed, whereas you could’ve gone yesterday and posted it the same day.
Thanks, Kafka. I’ll take it from here.
The precious person I would like to have in my life is the one who makes me want to be better. For the sake of ease, let’s call this person Penguin.
Penguin is the counter to me: confident where I’m shy; honest when I’m deceitful; encouraging when I’m doubtful. Penguin knows by the look on my face when I’m worrying about something, even when I think I’m perfectly straight-faced. Penguin is able to own up to mistakes and apologize for them when other horrible people don’t apologize (I can’t abide a person who does selfish things and then can’t apologize even when it hurts someone) and can recognize flaws in the self.
Penguin is the one I’d like to call when I need help or want to see a play at the theater or watch Christmas fireworks.
Aaaand this is where I stop before I begin getting confused with my fictional characters.