i’m watching, always observing, as you sneak around, stealing things that take your fancy. i know you do this purely on whims, on the appeal of the item right by you – you’re like a magpie, hoarding away all your treasures before shattering them. (because you just have to be the one to do the breaking; can’t allow anyone else to have them, can you?)
you have to stop. and i know i’m not going to be able to convince you, because this is something you love too much to ever give up. instead, i take it into my duty to steal the items back, redistribute them and watch you flounder. someone has to do it, after all. let’s not think of it as the prevention; let’s pretend it’s the cure.
(here’s the secret: you’re not the villain you think you are)