I love the madness of life.
I love it in writing too, but writing is where the madness shines. I’ve been thinking lately – I’m beginning to find my voice. Here on the blog, in texts, in emails… I think my voice sounds a lot like me, but says the things my real-life self wouldn’t say. My voice is the unfiltered Sarah, the version who comes up with a Witty Thing to say and says it, unlike the offscreen version who files it in a notebook for a zappy one-liner in fiction.
And it’s carrying over into real life, I think, because maybe I’m beginning to find me. Yesterday I was at the office place doing my job hunting and for one of the first times I was being me just a little bit more. I was the version that befriended people and said funny things, not the version who sits quietly topping up my caffeine. It was nice. I don’t know if we’ve had a full moon recently, or if the caffeine made me bold, but that’s how it seems to work.
The madness is interesting too, though I don’t always think of it as madness. I prefer awesomeness. It’s the tiny details, for me. It’s when you’re watching a film and see a knickknack you want, or buying a totally impractical pair of velvety boots with stiletto heels. It’s a lyric that stays on your heart or the promise of something undiscovered. It’s roaming the city, hopping on and off at random points and exploring just because you can, and watching a good chaos unfold like a living thing, free and wild.