Once upon a time, I came upon the idea of a poem for food. Or something.
I’m going to apply that to Halloween.
In a lollies-free house, the kiddies would have to subject me to a recitation of Literature. Shakespeare, for instance. I don’t generally startle easily, and so I would be shocked to find a couple of kids on the doorstep reciting Othello. It might even scare me, depending on the lines quoted. Iago’s awesome, but just a tad menacing. (This is a dude who convinces his friend that his wife is being unfaithful, based on a strawberry-spotted handkerchief. See? Menacing)
Also, the sheer awesomeness would still not inspire me to find some treat. I am a Halloween Grinch.