I have issues with the time machine.
It goes into the past or the future. Therefore, I don’t want either version. You see, if I went into the past I would be tempted to change things. I’ve read enough science fiction (ahem) to know that you don’t want to go causing a butterfly effect across the world.
Also, I like the technology of 2014. I’m trying to imagine myself, back in time a thousand years. No technology whatsoever – at least, none of the kind I know and appreciate on a daily basis. Would I forget all the things that make me me? And how would I entertain myself with none of my favourite books or plays? A thousand years predates Chaucer, even. Also, I’m pretty sure that back then women had vastly fewer rights.
As for going into the future, why take out all the surprise? Just because I’m writing a book doesn’t mean I want to know how it’s doing in 2025. I don’t want to know ahead of time who’s going to be in government, or what vapidness is taking over TV and movies. If I knew what would happen twenty years from now, I would no doubt take shortcuts if I could find them. And while I’m all for a shortcut here and there, I don’t want to return to the present day with a map and guidebook of What You’re Going To Do and How To Get There.
And thus, dear readers, I am auctioning my time machine. It is in perfect, never-used condition, and bidding starts at $75. Please take tea or coffee and peruse the machine at your convenience.