Fears and Loathings

I’m not usually one to be afraid. Actually, when I read the challenge I was hard-pressed to think of something I fear.

I have a lot of dislikes, but disliking something isn’t the same as fearing it – or even being paranoid. I have a long dislike of vegetable peelers, for instance, and there’s a reason for it, but I won’t go into it lest you’re reading this and eating. Suffice to say I promptly stopped using peelers.

Then there’s spiders. Quite generic, really. It’s all the legs and the beady little eyes. I refuse, even, to watch that scene in Chamber of Secrets – I may not like Ron Weasley but I do share his dislike of spiders.

And then I thought of something: I’m afraid of not being myself. I’m afraid of changing for a person, or letting someone change me. I don’t want to sacrifice a part of my personality for someone else. At the same time, I don’t want to be copied and mimicked mindlessly because what I’m doing is cool. I’ve seen that happen, and it’s not fun. Knowing that someone is mimicking me simply because she could – even if she’s not good at doing something, or it actually doesn’t mean much to her – is sad, and then it drives me to find something else I can have for myself. As you might imagine, that’s frustrating.

Besides, one doppelganger is enough for any person, don’t you think?

11 thoughts on “Fears and Loathings”

    1. Thank you. Yes, I knew a girl who used to adopt things like writing and then brush it off as a nothing hobby. As I love writing I always found that rather painful. I don’t care if similar traits are happenstance, but deliberate is strange.

      And then, having a physical doppelgänger is strange – funny, but strange. That’s a story for another day 🙂

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      1. There will be stories, and there will be stories. It’s rather interesting to think about all the doubles out in the world.

        Thanks – one might be up as early as Friday 🙂

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