Anger, I find, is hard to contain.
When something goes ‘wrong’ – earphones get tangled, a pen goes missing, or I can’t find something – I’m slow to anger. It’s a slow burn, first of frustration and annoyance, where the hell is that TV remote, I’m missing such-and-such.
Then, as time ticks by, I get angry. I snap at people and snarl at the mirror because I have high expectations in these cases. I expect, for instance, that I remember exactly where I put something, or that I can immediately access music via earphones. Thus, when there’s a roadblock, I can become very angry. I kick the bedframe, never a good idea as it’s made of wood, or throw my pillow at the wall.
Repetition too, makes me angry. Not repetition such as for exams, but when mundane, everyday things are repeated. So does the mundane: for instance, when someone declares undying, burning ambition and does nothing to further it. I have seen this happen, and I find nothing sadder than someone having grand dreams but continuing the mundane.
And so it is that I will hit the roof, growling and scowling and being irritable. And after, I will calm down and be pleasant and cheerful once again. Maybe I’ll make cupcakes; maybe I’ll throw out some cluttery item. I don’t consider anger a flaw; rather, I prefer to have emotions and the knowledge of how to deal with them.