One Deadly Sin

Anger, I find, is hard to contain.

When something goes ‘wrong’ – earphones get tangled, a pen goes missing, or I can’t find something – I’m slow to anger. It’s a slow burn, first of frustration and annoyance,Β where the hell is that TV remote, I’m missing such-and-such.

Then, as time ticks by, I get angry. I snap at people and snarl at the mirror because I have high expectations in these cases. I expect, for instance, that I remember exactly where I put something, or that I can immediately access music via earphones. Thus, when there’s a roadblock, I can become very angry. I kick the bedframe, never a good idea as it’s made of wood, or throw my pillow at the wall.

Repetition too, makes me angry. Not repetition such as for exams, but when mundane, everyday things are repeated. So does the mundane: for instance, when someone declares undying, burning ambition and does nothing to further it. I have seen this happen, and I find nothing sadder than someone having grand dreams but continuing the mundane.

And so it is that I will hit the roof, growling and scowling and being irritable. And after, I will calm down and be pleasant and cheerful once again. Maybe I’ll make cupcakes; maybe I’ll throw out some cluttery item. I don’t consider anger a flaw; rather, I prefer to have emotions and the knowledge of how to deal with them.

17 thoughts on “One Deadly Sin”

  1. Powerful last line. Thank Heavens as you have ways to cope your anger. :)) Though, I hope we’ll just often stay feeling delighted. πŸ™‚

    – Matthew

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    1. Thank you πŸ™‚

      I think I owe that to my time in high school as a peer mediator; we learned techniques for helping with anger and such. And certainly I strive to happiness more than anger.

      Thanks again πŸ™‚

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      1. You’re very welcome, Sarah! πŸ™‚ That’s a really good thing to receive. πŸ™‚

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      2. I haven’t heard those cookies, but they sound delicious. Thanks to the cookies! πŸ˜€

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      3. What happens when you find happiness in anger?
        sometimes it feels like I can only be happy when I have my anger because growing up, I needed that anger to survive the put downs and the mental, physical, and verbal abuse. Is there a way to change?

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      4. I know what you mean. I used to hold on to anger when I had fallings-out with friends.

        I’m not a psychologist of any kind, but I think replacing the anger with the things that make you happy is a good way to create change. I don’t think you’ve got happiness in anger; I think it sounds like the anger is familiar, so your happiness stems from the familiarity.

        ‘Holding on to anger is like holding a hot rock with the intent of throwing it; you are the one who gets burnt’ – Buddha.

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  2. This is great. It mirrors my own responses to roadblocks. I’ve come to accept that I am not perfect and its ok. I keep on trying! thanks for this post. .

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