Planet Penguin

Oh, this is delightful.

I have a planet.

Well, for a start, the weather will be much the same as on Earth. The thing is, the inhabitants can control the weather to their desire, rendering Planet Penguin seasonless. If you fancy snow at 3am, press the purple button over your bed. If you want sunlight at noon, use the red triangle by the front door. For rain/thunderstorms, use the orange circle by your washing machine.

If you can’t decide what weather you would like, use the series of infinity symbols under the dining table. The symbols represent ‘Surprise Me’ and will calculate what weather you would most like, going by past preferences.

As I already said, it’s a seasonless planet.

The inhabitants will have to choose to come to Planet Penguin and fill out an application form. Preference will be given to creative-minded people, namely artists of any kind, writers, musicians, etc.

The screening process will also calculate how many times a person uses the word like. If the number surpasses 25 in a two-week period the application will be denied. Thereby certain groups of people will be forced to think more about what they’re going to say before they open their mouths and unleash a volley of broken sentences liberally peppered with ‘like.’ This will result in more coherent, thoughtful conversations/monologues.

Internet use will be limited to 9-7 on weekdays and 8-10 on weekends, allowing for better sleep and therefore better health. Exceptions will be made for proven work exceptions.

Literature shall be a focal point of several cafes, bringing back the tradition of salons and the pursuit of knowledge.

For more, please take a Planet Penguin pamphlet and help yourself to your choice of tea, coffee or cookies.

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