Fifteen Minutes Of Silence

Well, if ever I was to address the world on TV, I’d probably not say a damned thing. I would stare into the camera, fixing my eyes on some unknown point. Unmoving, unyielding. Silent. At the thirty-second mark, people would wonder why I wasn’t saying anything.

At three minutes they would get annoyed and start making Annoyed Remarks at the TV. 

Six minutes and people would begin to change the channel. 

Eight minutes and the producers would tell me that not a single damn person in the world is watching me. Therefore, I can go early. I will be remembered for years as The Girl Who Stared Silently For Six Minutes, at least until someone tops that.

(This, in case you are wondering, is the result of shyness. I don’t have the type of personality that allows one to speak in front of an audience.)

In any event, I do think that stony silence is far better than awkward stammering and nonsense.

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