Send Away the Audience

You know how in probably every room there is one person who sits quietly to one side and says nothing? I’m that girl.

I developed a dislike of public speaking in high school. I attribute this to the fact that my peers and I weren’t generally on the same wavelength – in fact I think we were on different beaches altogether. I recall one time asking when we’d study Shakespeare.

‘Shakespeare? Who’d want to study him?’ came the cry from my classmates. It was around that time that I gave up on them, which made doing speeches in English a bit difficult.

I also recall a girl who was apparently incapable of referring to me by name, preferring instead ‘her’ or ‘she’. Every damn time. Is it any wonder, then, that I didn’t like to speak in front of her and her friends? I often had the sense people didn’t like me much, though I’m not sure why.

Still, I’m not writing this to moan about my high school life. I’m answering a daily prompt, because my poetry supply has dried up and so has my inspiration.

Even now I’m not happy with speaking up in class. I actually wrote a poem about it recently – it’s on this blog as Words Get In the Way. Sometimes, I find that the words just won’t leave my throat. One of my tutorials is quite small, maybe twenty people, and the tutor is good. Really good, actually, she’s the type who wanders the classroom and chats to everyone. Even so, I can’t make myself say stuff.

In a tiny group, like three people, I can do fine, but more than four people and I start to shrink towards the corner.

That’s also where my blog name comes from: I prefer to hide in the corner, rather than sitting front-and-centre. As for being tucked in, I thought it sounded cozy. To me it sounds like curling up with a coffee and a book, and blocking out the world around you.

Preferably without an audience.

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