Only When It Suits

I’m invisible to you now.

Communication has dwindled to nothing
I try to change this but
I can’t.

On a bus
Three rows to my left
I barely recognize you.
You text me once, a brief message.

I notice your wording.
Your words aren’t overly meaningful.
I glean a new meaning
Or am I just imagining things?

I try to make amends
Make plans
You say you’ll get back to me
You never do.

How long has it been since
We last spent time together?
Just us, being ourselves.
Too long, I think.

You say you want to keep in contact
Then your actions never match up.
I don’t buy it anymore;
I’d be a fool to believe you.

I text you several hours later
Once the next day
At some point I give up.
Waiting for your call or text
Is pointless.

You and I both have new lives
I’ve tried to make room for you in mine.
But when it comes to me or
The new people in your life,
I can’t compete.

Stupidly, I keep an eye on my mobile
Listening for the buzz that indicates a text
Waiting to hear from you though
Is pointless and disappointing.

I’m starting to prefer
Not hearing fro you at all.
Because when you do text me
I feel like an inconvenience.

The way you so easily forget
About talking to me,
Ignore the fact that I’m waiting for
An answer,
Tells me I don’t matter.

When I try to bring the subject up
You get defensive, make excuses.
I’m busy too.
I have a life.

I’d like it if you were in my life,
But I’ve learnt not to hold my breath.
I never thought this would happen.

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